13. SCORING AN OWN GOAL
WHY. JUST WHY. This is the question you ask yourself as you sadly trot back to the center circle with your head down. This dreaded-occurence NEVER happens on purpose, of course, but it still feels JUST as embarrassing. Even if the ball hits off 20 other people before rebounding off of a random body part of yours into the net...you still feel like it was all your fault.
12. Bright Underwear + White Home Jerseys = THE PANTY SHOW
You've been warned. The consequences are clear (or see-through, LOL). Yet somehow, you'll accidentally wear those neon "BEST KISSER" underwear on the day of a home game and be forced to live through the humiliation. Was that enough to learn your lesson? Nope. Will you do it again later in the season? Most definitely. #Whoops
11. GETTING PANTS-ED
This is a rare, yet glorious occurrence. Getting pants-ed by an opponent is one thing, but when the grass does it - that's a pleasant surprise. If you are running at just the right speed and get slide-tackled at just the right angle, there's a chance you're going down and the grass may just rip your pants down to your ankles. It's hysterical. There's nothing you can do about it and no controlling WHEN it'll happen..but, when it does happen just OWN IT (and then pull your pants back up, lady, ya scarin' us.)
10. THE CROTCHET (Crotch-ing a ball that was rocketed at you)
IT HAPPENS. Sometimes a girl rockets a ball at you and you don't have enough time to decide between chest trapping it or thigh-ing the ball. The unfortunate result is this sort of empty thump sound... resembling the sound of a ball hitting a deflated air-mattress as it ricochets off your body.
9. SHANKING A CORNER KICK OUT OF BOUNDS
UGH. That's all we can say about this one. UGH. #imsorrycoach #itwonthappenagain #whatawaste #tailbetweenmylegs
8. A REALLY BLATANT HANDBALL
If you're a multi-sport athlete, your brain sometimes forgets what sport its playing. Has a ball ever come flying at you and you stick your hand up, slap it right out of the air, and then quickly put your arm back at your side realizing what you just did? There's almost nothing else to do but laugh at this major brain-fart as you hand the ball over to the other team (literally)..whispering to yourself, "this isn't basketball season. this IS NOT basketball season."
7. WHIFFING THE BALL
Ah yes, the WHIFF; cleverly named for the EMBARRASSING sound that results from your leg swinging as hard as it can through the air and never making contact with the ball. WHIFF. That's the deflated sound of your confidence as you look down at the ball that is still at your feet or even behind you. Sure, you can blame it on the uneven ground, a little pebble perhaps or another girl making contact with you.. but sometimes ya swing and ya miss. Embarrassing, (yet really great entertainment.)
6. SLIPPING ON THE BALL
This is one of those laugh-off-the-pain moments because YOU just looked like a circus clown slipping on the ball anddd you may have just broken your tailbone in the process. Everyone's laughing and you're laughing...even though you're crying on the inside.
5. THE SNIPER
Absolutely no one is challenging you, pressuring you or even REMOTELY near you...and you still manage to wipe out. Sniperrrrrr
4. MISSING A WIDE OPEN NET
We've all been there. Ranging from shooting on an open net to a crucial PK - We've all missed a WIDE OPEN NET. It is truly remarkable how the goal is so large but we still manage to shank it. It is almost as if the soccer ball and goal posts are opposite magnets - I swear it's not me.
3. INJURING YOURSELF
Injuring yourself during warmup or a game is truly hilarious. Whether it's kicking your own ankle (causing it to blow up as if someone slide tackled you) or forcing your opponents elbow into your own BIG face -- we gotta admit, we did it to ourselves. We can't cry about it, because that's pathetic and embarrassing...we just have to play it off. Play it cool. Play it cool.
2. GETTING NAILED IN THE FACE
It doesn't matter what position you play on the field, or if you are a coach or parent on the sideline - you are going to get accidentally nailed in the face. We wish we could tell you how to prepare for such an act of violence, but unfortunately you'll just have to react and see for yourself. If you're lucky, you may be able to dodge it. However, studies show that 99.9% of the time you won't see it coming.
1. THE MEG
This is the holy-grail of embarrassments. Easily on the top of list of "things-I-pray-never-happen-to-me". What could be more embarrassing? You had ONE JOB. STOP THE BALL. But nope, you let it casually roll right through your legs. You then feel terrible for yourself and walk even though the game is still on ::face in palm::